Memories of My Father

My dad passed away October 30, 2009 at the age of 89. So much has been said and recorded about his life, but I want to post some of my own personal memories for my posterity.

This picture was taken when my dad was about 7 years old. It's hard to imagine your father as a child. He had a rather strict father, but a very gentle mother. When he talked about his childhood it was usually about growing up on a ranch, herding steers out to pasture or wherever they could find good places for them to graze. He would stay days at a time away from home before he would bring them back. He talked about breaking in wild horses when he was a little bit older. He loved it and was good at it. He always sang us songs about cowboys: "Poor Jack Was Just A Cowboy" and "Little Joe, the Wrangler" were a couple of them. His dream was to have a family, be a farmer or rancher and raise his children there.

He tells about how one day his father came to the family and told them he had sold the ranch, was going to buy another place and use some of the money from the sell of the ranch to send my dad on a mission. My dad had a missionary heart. He was thrilled. He was sent and spent the last year of his mission in West Virginia where he met my mom. He kept a journal of his experiences and it is evident from all his entries that he worked very hard, occasionally not having enough food, and not having too much success. That changed when he moved to the city where my mom lived with her mother and sisters. My widowed grandmother, Minnie Merrell, fed all the missionaries as often as they needed and took care of them in every way she could. He grew to love this lady and especially one of her daughters.



I remember one day while driving him to see his brother, Jerry about a year ago. Out of the blue, he asked, "Jenny, would you support mom and I on another mission?" I was a little taken back and asked him what kind of a mission was he thinking of....a ward missionary, helping support missionaries financially, or a full-time missionary. (Somehow I knew what his answer was going to be). He said, "A full time mission". He wanted to put papers in. I smiled remembering that he has always been an enthusiastic missionary for the church. I told him, I was pretty sure he would have to pass a medical examination first. My mom, or course, chimed in saying, "Arthur, we can't go on a mission, you can't walk!!" I will always remember this knowing that his heart was so willing. No one I have ever met has desired to do missionary work for the Lord more than my dad.

Farmer


Oh, how he loved farming! He worked so hard both in Chilco, Idaho and Moses Lake, Washington. To help make ends meet he also worked as a lumberjack near Kellog, Idaho. That was hard work. I remember sleeping in a tent for several days at a time while he worked cutting trees for lumber. I also remember he cut trees for Christmas and hauled them to Arizona to sell in December. He taught us how to work hard, too. I learned to disk and harrow with a team of horses when I was 8 or 9. When he thought I was old enough he taught me to drive. I was responsible from the time I was 9 until I was almost 13 to take big huge milk cans in the car trunk and fill them with water from the neighbors until we could dig a well. I actually liked helping him in the fields, although not crazy about thinning the beets. He would come in at night just exhausted and having back pain. Here is a picture of our family when we lived in Moses Lake.


Dad and Mom in the back row,
From right to left in 2nd row: Jenny, Sandee, Myron, Ed, Sharon, Jan
From left to right in 3rd row: Mark, Roseanne, Nancy Kerry, and Amy

This is where we lived in a 4 room house, built by my dad. He was planning on digging a well and building a big home after the harvest of his first crops. I can still see him in my mind's eye looking out over his crops and admiring how good they were looking, telling us how this was going to be a good year, and talked of his plans for building our new home, building a barn a little later and having all his kids learn farm work. I was always proud to drive up to our farm and see how beautiful the crops looked. Other farms had weeds growing just as big as their crops, but our didn't. Sandee and I were old enough to milk the 1 cow we had, but the others were a little too young to learn to do as much work. Unfortunately, his crops froze or for some other reason did not yield a good crop for 3 years. It breaks my heart to remember how hard he worked and how hard he tried to make living as a farmer.

I remember the day he came home and told us that Boeing (a branch in Moses Lake) had hired him, was sending back to school to the University of Washington. I was very nervous about moving to such a big city. I could tell dad was just hoping to work long enough to save enough money to come back to farming.My mom was relieved. She always worried about my dad and his back pain. So we packed up everything we owned and moved to Seattle.

Dad worked at Boeing until he retired. He was smart, wrote manuals for the flight analyst program at Boeing, taught classes and for some reason they always kept him on even when Boeing was laying off thousands of their employees. He won many awards...here is a picture of him receiving one of them.



This is how I remember my dad the most,


Random Thoughts:
No one worked harder than my dad. I remember one time wanting a formal for a church dance - the Gold and Green Ball. I knew there was no extra money and had just decided not to go. My dad came up with some money somehow and insisted that we go out and find me a formal dress. I had mixed emotions about that. I knew we needed the money for other things, I really wanted to go to the dance, and I knew my dad would be hurt if I turned him down. I hadn't seen that soft side of him before. He was usually telling me not to be proud and to wear the best Sunday dress I had.

I remember that he always found someone who needed a ride to church. Since we had absolutely no room in our car he had the oldest children walk to church, which was a couple miles or more. I walked in heels up those steep Seattle hills. The day we got our big van was so exciting. We had room for everyone in one trip. Of course there were no seatbelt laws and half of us held a younger sibling on our laps.

I remember him playing a lot of sports with his kids. Basketball at the church, softball in any field he could find, bowling leagues and football at any picnic we had.

My dad held family home evenings before it became an offical program of the church on Monday nights. We called them Family Night. It always included a little lesson, songs, and everyone got to do a little trick or stunt...which was most often, standing on your hands, singing a song, wrestling, or our favorite was when mom and dad would box. My mom is related to Jack Dempsey and she was a boxer. She could box my dad right into a corner and took it quite seriously,. My dad usually started lauging at her, which made her box all the harder. I think it would have been kind of hard for my dad to jab her very hard in front of all his kids. We always had some kind of refreshment which was important in keeping everyone interested in the activity. I remember one particulary home evening. He had decided we were going to go around the room and tell each other one thing we really like about them. I was at an age, where I was not a very nice teen-ager. I pretty much ignored my dad at this age, and complained a lot to my mother. The part I remember the most, was when it came time for my dad to say something about me, I held my breath. I knew I did not deserve any kind comments from him. I also knew my dad would not just make something up. I remember to this day, that he said I had the prettiest smile of all the people he knew and that he loved it when I did smile. Whew! I was glad he said something good, but most of all I have never forgotten it all these years.

When I was helping to care for him in his later years, he was so appreciative and humble. He rarely complained. I remember one day the last 2 weeks of his life, he was sitting in his big chair and I noticed that he was making his leg go up and down constantly. I asked him why? He had a difficult time telling me so I asked him a lot of questions. Come to find out, his bum was sore and it hurting him a lot. There was no groaning, no loud noises, just moving his leg up and down. Once we figured it out, we moved him to his bed on his side and he whispered, "Thanks, Jenny!"

I loved how he treated my mom, especially after she started having a lot of memory problems. No matter how many times she repeated a story, he listened. If someone asked her a queston and she couldn't remember the answer, he would just quietly say the answer. Whereever they were, my mom didn't stray too far away from him. He was her security! On the other hand, she always was close by in case he needed her for anything. Their's is a marriage that grew and evolved over time to the most comfortable, trusting, and loving relationship I have ever seen.




My most fond memory of him was when he came to visit me in France while I was on my mission. He had been sent to England by Boeing and took a little side trip to France. I was serving near Paris and so it was easy to make connections. I remember seeing him at customs, and looking a little nervous that everyone was talking French. He seemed rather relieved that I was able to come nearby and translate for him. He was fun for my companion and I. He went to one of our church activities. It was fun introducing him to everyone. A lot of the youth loved trying to talk to him in English, which was nice for him. But, what I remember the most, was the father's blessing he gave me. I had been sick a lot and was discouraged. I felt a lot of peace after that and knew I was being looked after by a loving Heavenly Father.

Having been the oldest I have seen the most transformation in my dad than most of the other siblings. (I am sure that is true for most oldest children.) I remember him being strict, sometimes a little harsh, and quite rigid. But, I always knew he wanted to be a good person. He wanted to be the best father he could. I saw how the gospel softened him and guided him to be the gentle, most compassionate, most appreciative, most loving person there ever could be. Now, I have no excuse for not becoming a better person, having the perfect example of a person who showed by example how one humbles himself and changes to become the person he was meant to be.

I am grateful to have had this wonderful man as my father. He was just the father I needed even in his most imperfect moments. I love him and look forward to being with him and mom in the eternities....if I can measure up.



We are proud of you, dad!

Caring for my parents!

Rose has gone to Chile for 3 weeks with Martin and Andrea. John leaves to day to join her. I've have the opportunity to go help with my parents for a few days. I have even more gratitude and appreciation for all that Rose and John do for them. Mom loves having someone from the family to reminisce with. I think it is interesting that she always speaks about the positive things in her life. I don't know if that is a conscious effort on her part or if she just doesn't remember the negative things. She can be delightful if you don't mind hearing the same stories several times a day. Her eyes just light up when she tells you some of her growing up stories about her dad, mom and sisters. She can get very animated when she talks about meeting my dad for the first time.

She can be very helpful caring for dad. She's always right there when he needs something and I think she is the only one who knows how to stop his coughing when he chokes. She puts her hand somewhere on his back and rubs and voila, he stops choking - albeit just for a few minutes. You do have to watch her because she will forget and try to feed him part of her sandwich (he's on thickened pureed foods). Sometimes when dad takes an extra long time to eat you might catch her eating some of his dinner. That can be a serious problem if she eats his applesauce which has his medicine crushed into it. She is a pretty high functioning person with alzheimers, but you do have to watch her carefully.


Dad was having hard time smiling and keeping his eyes open at the same time. But after a few tries this is what we got. He is struggling. He is getting harder and harder to move. We can get him to his feet, but his knees bend a lot and he is having trouble moving his feet. I sometimes stand behind him and hold him up while mom stands him front and guides him holding his hands. During the hot weather, we discovered that if he doesn't get enough fluids, he gets very sleepy and it is hard to keep him awake even during his meals. But, he is still an angel to care for. At one point I felt prompted to tell him that when it is his time to go, we promises to take good care of mom and see that she gets the best of care. He, in his whisper of a voice, said "I appreciate that."


One of their favorite things to do is go out in the yard in their swing. They will sit, hold hands and talk for an hour or so, until dad gets uncomfortable.


They love when family drops by. Maria and Eric came to visit them on their way home from Seaside last week. Before they got here, she kept saying, "Now who is coming?". I'd explain that it was my daughter, Maria and her husband, Eric. I could tell she could not remember exactly who they were. But, after they left she could remember very well who they are.

It is a pleasure to visit and care for them. I do hope I age as sweet and appreciative as they are.

A Summer of Reunions

***WARNING*** This a a very long blog. I had all these pictures on my camera with some on the card and some on internal memory. I couldn't figure out for the longest time how to get the internal memory pictures on my computer. So now you get two months worth of pictures in one blog.

LEE FAMILY REUNION
There is nothing as fun as family reunions - even with all the hard work and planning it takes to have one. This summer has been a fun one for me. First my side of the family (The Lee's) had their regular reunion at the Ensign Ranch. This was an emotional one because we wonder if my dad will ever be able to make another one. (But then again, he is stubborn and could fool us all) Here are some pictures and memories: (A lot of these pictures are from Rebecca, the family photographer. If she is around the rest of us tend not to take as many pictures. We sure keep her busy.)


Arthur and Betty Lee - Patriarch and Matriarch of this huge family.


So many activities: Organized games for the children, slip and slide, horses (to feed and ride), horseshoes for the adults, boating, and indoor pool, shuffleboard, etc. You could always find something to do. And the cousins loved just hanging out and playing with each other.













Good Food


A special family home evening, Here are my parents with all of their children. At the end of the program they sang a song they had sung in church many, many years ago - "I Stand All Amazed".


The highlight of the whole reunion was a special blessing given by my dad to all his posterity. Unable to speak it himself, Ed had spent time with my dad weeks before the reunion learning from dad that he wanted to give a blessing and what he wanted to say. My mom read it and it was hard to hold back the tears when hearing it. Thanks Ed and also for finding the recorded talk that dad gaves years ago in a Sacrament Meeting before he and my mom left for one of their missions. It was just perfect for the occasion.

STRINGHAM FAMILY REUNION
This was our first official Stringham Family Reunion. Whenever Jason and family comes into town we have gotten together. But, this time my brother, Ed let us use his beach house in Seaside Oregon to be able to just get away. It is the cutest beach housse I have ever seen. The back door leads leadss to a deck and right past that is the beach. The kids had so much fun playing in the sand, riding the waves on boogie boards, roasting marshmallows in the fire pit, playing with all their cousins, and spending wonderful time with their parents. How fun to have undivided attention for each other.

Here are some pictures from our camera and of course from Rebecca:
The beach house from the ocean.

The whole Stringham Family

Playing in the sand.

Grandpa was in charge of seeing that Brody didn't eat the sand. Whoops! But, he did get this picture.

Hanging out inside while it was raining outside.

The cousins played together so well.

Cousins bedroom. Up to 8 kids slept here with two in sleeping bags on the floor.

We had wonderful food. I ate way too much and I have no idea why the chair cushion is in the middle of the table.

The kids loved playing in the ocean as well as the guys. Tommy and Eric before they were called out of the water for a white shark sighting! Can't believe we let them go back later, but we did after we were told they were gone. How do they know for sure?

Jason Stringham on the boogie board. He ended up breaking one of them - must have been some wild waves. Jason Kidd was right behind him.

Roasting marshmallows was a favorite and I think we all agree that Ethan was the best marshmallow roaster. Notice the tent in the background, Yep, we had two families bring tents, Mendenhalls and the Kidds and they loved listening to the ocean waves at night.


Jaylee and Audrey led me to their secret "cave". They spent hours fixing it up with little places to sit. Theytold me they were digging to the other side of the world to "Australia".

The kids being buried up to their waists in the sand. Most of them loved the idea, but a couple said "no way"!

Grandma and Grandpa with all the grandkids, my favorite picture of the reunion.

Pike Place Market with Jason, Jenn, Jaylee and Jenni.

This is such a fun place to visit.

First off they bought Grandma and Grandpa a boquet of flowers. Thanks so much!

Jaylee getting a close look at a big fish. This place is famous for their fresh fish.

They have some pretty hair ribbons there.

Jenni chose the pink and Jaylee chose the multi-colored one.


Jaylee getting a picture of the "Hello, I'm a monk fish" -- pretty brave of her considering it tends to move unexpectedly.


So much easier to enjoy when you up above the crowds.

Thanks for the memories!

Health Issues

I've hesitated doing this post hoping that after seeing a couple specialists I would have better news to report. Most of my life I have been blessed with great health. My growing up years were very healthy, missing school very rarely. Of course I had the usual childhood diseases for that generation - measles, mumps, chicken pox, whooping cough and managed to sail through them. Four years ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, and a little later with high blood pressure. not too surprisingly because my mom has them But, my doctors were happy that I was very controlled and seemed very healthy. I remember my family doctor praising me and saying she wished all her patients with diabetes were as healthy and well controlled.

Thanksgiving Eve I ended up in the hospital for an appendectomy. It was a quick surgery and recovery. Imagine my surprise when Mark told me the next day that when they did the CT scan and surgery they noticed that I had cirrhsis of the liver. After quite a few tests and a biopsy it was determined that I have the kind that is a mystery to the doctors. They don't know what causes it. It is called NASH. Often people who have this have the metabolic syndrome, but not all. Usually they are overweight, but not all. After seeing a couple of specialists they have essentially told me there is no treatment or medication to cure it. The scary thing about diabetes and liver diseases is they affect every part of your body.

But, I was am in a research program through Virginia Mason Hospital and the University of Washington Hospital. Which means I will be followed every 6 months and monitored. The liver specialist from Virginia Mason did change a couple of my medications, added Vitamin E supplements and told me to exercise 45-60 minutes a day. So that is what I am doing. So far the only symptom I have is fatigue. (What is interesting about this is that because of the diabetic medication I have had my liver enzymes tested every 6 months for the last 4 years and have yet to show any abnormal levels. So if I hadn't had appendicitis I still would not know to this day that I have this disease).

The up side to this is that I have joined a fitness center and am swimming at least 45 minutes a day (well 5 days a week). I love swimming - always have and now I have an excuse to do it every day. I am also working with a trainer in weight training. He is very nice and very encouraging.

For Father's Day, I got Mark the Wii game and his children chipped in and got the Wii Fitness so we are both enjoying that. So I am now exercising a lot more than I ever have and I actually enjoy it.

The fitness center is part of a hospital and the time of day I go they have lots of elderly people in the exercise rooms and the swimming pool. I have seen women with canes and a man with a walker come in and get in the pool on a regular basis. One elderly man I swim with is a good swimmer. He uses a paddle board and can swim faster than I just using his legs that I can using arms and legs. They inspire me and I hope I can be just as active and cheerful when I need a cane and walker.

My goal is to gradually lose weight (even though a new medication I am on causes weight gain), and to increase my endurance and muscles strength and try to slow down damage to the liver. I want to postpone a liver transplant as long as I can.

Oh, I forgot to tell you that I am on a diet that decreases saturated fats, but increases protein which I have been doing-sort of-but now I am more strict. So I eat a lot of chicken, fish, cottage cheese and low fat string cheese for protein.

So that is my health news. I won't continually dwell on it or bore you with a lot of detail. But, I think it is worth mentioning from time to time for my posterity who unfortunately may inherit some of these diseases.

I am not feeling sorry for myself yet. Maybe when I deteriorate to the point where I am helpless. But for now I plan to just move forward, listen to my doctors and change my lifestyle to a more healthy one and trust the Lord knows what is best for me.

Wish me luck!

Welcome to grandchild #13, little Allie

Here she is, Alexandria Stringham, or Allie as she is called. She was born May 29, 2009 around 3:30 pm, Renton, Washington. She weighed 8 lbs. 11 oz and was 19.5 inches long. Of James and Jamie's 3 kids she looks the most like the Stringham side. The other two have strong Argo genes - which are beautiful, by the way. Unfortunately, I was at home sick and unable to babysit the other two or help in any way. Jamie updated her Twitter account (which transferred to her facebook account) before, during and after the birth. How wonderful of her! I sat by my laptop morning and afternoon.

Isn't she beautiful!


Ryan and Emily seem pretty excited about having a baby sister. When I called James yesterday he put me on speaker phone so I could talk to them. Ryan said she was little, but when I tried to talk to Emily about her, she started talking about fruit rollups. Made me chuckle! They were excited for us to see Allie, leading us right to her, showing us her blankie and bottle nipples.

We got to take James and the kids out to Red Robin for dinner which is always a treat for Gma and Gpa. Jamie's mom "Grammy" stayed with Jamie and Allie and we brought Jamie back dinner.

We're feeling very blessed!

Hello, Again

It's spring and our little birdies are back!


This year we were prepared. Mark bought me a little bird house for her little nest and to protect our hanging plants. Here they would be safe from my constant watering and necessary disturbing of their nest. Last year the plant didn't do so well and I accidentally knocked it over and two eggs fell out while I trying to water around the bird nest. Those two little birdies never made it.

Mother's Day gift from my children! If you were a bird which home would you choose?


Hello, again!


So we hope these will help keep the roots watered and lessen my moving the leaves, etc. to get it watered thoroughly. Hopefully, this year the plant and the birdies can live together.