Photo: Jerry and I just before he moved to Rocky Bay nearly 5 years ago.
Mid morning on Wednesday, I got a call from Rocky Bay to say they were sending Jerry to St. Joseph's hospital via ambulance for increased weakness, lethargy and not wanting to eat. He has had an ongoing problem with this for a month at least. But, he had gotten the flu early on and they attributed his symptoms to that. After the flu, he didn't get any better! Finally, Wednesday morning it had worsened so they sent him to the hospital.
When I had gotten there, it was the busiest I had ever seen at an ER. I could hear them over the intercom announcing more ambulances on their way -- a couple with persons unable to breath unassisted. I counted at least 7 people in beds in the hallways. So I knew it was going to be awhile before I heard news about Jerry.
Jerry was not in immediate danger, but I noticed that he was very sleepy. The nurse said that after Linda, from Rocky Bay, who had accompanied him there had left, his blood pressure went up. After I got there, he did smile at me, but did not even attempt to open his mouth and talk to me. But, his blood pressure did come down again. I'm sure he was scared. He has never liked hospitals (they mean death to him) and being somewhere strange, not being able to talk or ask for help, or ask questions and not even being able to get out of bed without assistance, has to be the most helpless feeling ever. He looked like he had aged a lot since the last time I had seen him - just a couple of weeks ago.
To make a long story short, they could not find anything acutely wrong with him. All his blood tests came back "within normal limits" and his CT scan showed nothing alarming. It did show, however, that he has been having ongoing mini strokes and will continue to have them according the the doctor. Her comment to me was "he is slowly deteriorating" related to causes of old age. Because he was already receiving treatment to reduce strokes, their recommendation was to send him back to Rocky Bay, which I am sure pleased Jerry! He really likes it there! Besides, by then he had perked up a little bit and blew me a kiss.
As I contemplate Jerry's life, I wonder what his mission on earth is! Surely, he didn't need the same tests in life that most of us need. But, life has not been easy for him, either. He has struggled his whole life trying to learn and wanting to belong. His mom died when he was 14 and sometime after his dad remarried. Later in his life, he lived with one family or another being shifted around to whomever wanted him for awhile. I remember Jerry going to school with me when he was younger and the unkindness of other children because he could not learn very quickly. He learned to memorize some of the beginning readers - the Dick and Jane series. He loved to "read" them to anyone who would listen and he would always start to cry while reading. The one area where he excelled was math and to this day when I want to check his orientation, memory or verbal skills. I ask him how much 8+7 or another math type question. He gets very serious and he will try to give me the answer. His verbal skills decreased after his last big stroke. He loves to reminisce about our life in Chilco, Idaho. He smiles and nods his head. If I talk about his mom, his eyes swell with tears. I think Jerry's biggest dream is to be married and have a family!
One day when I was updating my brother Ed on Jerry's life he said, "No one really knows who Jerry is." So true! What kind of a spirit was he in the pre-existence and what would he have been if he had not been mentally challenged! I wonder that if we had even the smallest clue what kind of a person he
really is would we treat him with more respect, kindness and love than he has received thus far in his life. I sure there are only a handful of people who even remember him in their prayers.
Here's what I am grateful for:
That Jerry is at Rocky Bay where he is happy!
That the staff at Rocky Bay like him and tease him a lot.
That Carrie Ann found this place and suggested it for him.
That Carrie Ann checks in on him from time to time.
That my parents, who thought they were just keeping him for the summer, gave him a home, and tried to give him the best they could.
That his sister, Selma, writes to him on occasion and remembers him at Christmas and on his birthday.
That Selma sends money to us to see that Jerry, when the time comes, will be able to be buried in a cemetary in Safford, AZ between his parents and two sisters who died as small children.
That Jerry is in my life and has taught me patience, kindness, perserverance, humility and unconditional love.
